This week held immense potential for dissapoinment, aggravation, anger and depression. For starters, poor weather meant that I was unable to get to my big comfy bed for a good rest tuesday night. The roads were still bad enough that when the time came that I had to make the 60 mile drive Wednesday, I did it on compact snow and ice with the wind obliterating my veiw with ground blizzards. I gotta ‘fess up, bad roads scare me. I have been in too many accidents and will avoid them if at all possible. Fortunately, Santa made the down payment on a reliable 4 wheel drive for me and I had much better control than I may otherwise have enjoyed. There was still great tension involved however. When I did get to town, I paid every last penny of my weekly tips to the therapist who is helping me regain use of my index finger. Although she says I am making great strides, the progniosis is still pain and therapy for roughly a year. This is rather disheartening. After that was lots of errands, and not actually getting home until late Wednesday night. Since I only get about 5 hours of sleep a night when I am at work, and work much of the rest of the time, not getting any extra rest Wednesday did not bode well. Thursday and Friday I worked at my second job, that of substitute teacher. This week I worked as an aide for a teacher who, history has shown, does not like me and who has done much to see me discredited at that school. I saw disaster ahead. Saturday my sister said she needed to use my laundry room and, with a 6 month old in her house, I didn’t feel right telling her no, even though Saturday is my weekly laundry day and has been for sometime now. Sunday, when my goddaughter arrived her mother informed me that it was starting out as a bad day and the little one was being defiant and uncooperative. By the time the little one left, it was time to load up my 4 wheel drive and make the sixty mile drive to work again. No down time in sight.
Lots of room to have a really bad week here. I chose to do otherwise. Knowing what was ahead, I planned my emotional response to be preemptive rather than reactive. Yes, the roads were bad, but the music was good and the good Lord held back the wind in the spots that it could have taken me off the road. By being safe and VERY slow on the bad spots and pushing about 5 miles over the speed limit where it was clear and dry, somehow I actually gained time on the trip. Don’t ask how, the numbers just don’t work. At the doctors office, I chose to be happy with the progress that I have made. I can cowboy it through the pain and I bet I beat that one year prognosis. Wednesday night I did not get much sleep, but I slept well. Thursday I chose to be very cheerful and helpful at the school and got genuine thanks from the teacher I was working with. That night, after a good dinner, I fell asleep for a, much needed, solid 10 hours. Friday I approached work with the same mentality and had a very good day. After work I went to see my friend at work and spent a couple of hours helping her get caught up. Then it was back home to re-read Gudrun by Prudence MacLeod. Pru’s books are a good way to wind down when the potential for high stress is surrounding you. I highly recommend this one. Check it out here:
Live fully. Laugh honestly. Love completely.