An American Highlander

Travels Through My Mind

Batteries Not Included! June 27, 2012

Filed under: Getting to know me — charismaloy @ 12:36 pm

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Remember this little guy? Yeah, that looked a lot like me two weeks ago.

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My life was in shambles around me, and it felt like I was constantly fighting to keep my footing from being knocked out from under me.

As my big sister likes to say, I needed to ask a better question. I had been asking how I could survive the situation I was in. The answer was, “You can’t. This situation will kill you.” It was too, I was not sleeping, I was barely eating, I did nothing that brought a smile to my face, although I plastered one on when I had the strength. I did not write, we all know that I did not blog. The only thing that kept me from curling into bed and leaving the world to fend for itself was my daily chats with my sister. She kept me sane, and I don’t think I can truly express my gratitude.

So why am I back at the keyboard, rested, fed and truly smiling? Because I asked a better question. I knew that, above all, I had to survive. So my question became, “How do I survive?” The answer was simple. Get out of the situation I was in. Yes, doing this meant hurting feelings that I really didn’t want to hurt. It meant walking away with no promises to return. I have hopes at being able to go back and help out occasionally, but hopes can often get misconstrued as promises, so I find it better to keep mum about hopes. If things work out and I am able to go help out, then it can be a surprise, and hopefully, bruised feelings will have healed by then.

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A week and a half ago, I declared my freedom to the world. I spent that first week resting, eating real meals, and playing with my characters. I also spent a good chunk of it tutoring a friend so she could pass her class. This would have been better done over the course of the class rather than the day before the final, but we got the job done. I also spent a good chunk of that week searching for a job. The kind with an actual paycheck that you can budget from.

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This week, I am retaking control of my life. First order of business, is my sadly neglected house. I am very conscious of the fact that my body is still recovering from a long period of neglect and overuse, so I am being careful not to overdo it. However, I am making long strides towards making my home the pleasant retreat that it should be rather than the dumping ground on the way to the bed that it has been for far too long.  I have had numerous offers for assistance with this but I find that, although I abhor housework, the act of doing it myself gives me back the feeling of control in my life. It’s a small thing, yes, but I’ll take it!!

I start my now job in one week which, by my estimation, should give me just enough time to finish reclaiming my house and finish recharging myself. You see, I am like a video game character, but there is no magic potion I can take to keep me going. My health and energy meters are only refilled with time.

Are you asking the wrong question? Are you letting someone else dictate your life? Rethink your questions my friend. Never let anyone put a ring through your nose and drag you to slaughter.

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Final Checkin Round 2!! June 20, 2012

Filed under: ROW80 — charismaloy @ 8:16 pm

 I am pleased with myself this round. Many things did not go as I had hoped, and life interfered more than I had anticipated. However, I feel that I came out ahead. I am no longer anticipating chaos for the next several months, as I have shed that burden.  I fell behind on my original WIP’s and on my blog story as they all require me to be awake enough to plan out the next 50K words. However, I have been working on some very short, (1-4) page stories that are easier for my overly tired brain to track. I sent a couple of these out to my beta readers and the vote was unanimous that I should continue the short stories while I pull my life back into order. This way, I will not lose myself in the novels until I truly have the time to devote myself. Also, by doing so, I can quite possibly publish a collection of these short stories by the time the month is out. This would get my name out there, let folks test my writing style, and make me a little bit of money.  I can deal with this.

So, how did I do this round?

My life will be chaos for the next eight months or so, so I am going to set goals that I have some hope of accomplishing.

I fixed this!!!

1. Write at least 1000 words per week on  WIPs

I finished a short at  2500 words this week, but completely missed several weeks. I also had numerous weeks that consisted of no writing, but much needed research. I think I will adapt this goal with research in mind for the next round

2. Start a Twitter account

Goal met: 4/4/2012  

Still need to figure out how to use it effectively. As my body recouperates itself, I will get back to reading We Are Not Alone. I hated to put it down, especially since Kristen is a great writer, but it was just too much for my over worked brain to process.

3. Learn how to use Twitter, Facebook and my blog to at reach at least 10 new followers.

Reached my goal, but no idea how. Yup, see the previous answer.

4. Post at least one blog that is not a ROW80 check-in

Although I missed posting blogs, I am proud of the fact that I did not use this page to spew the hurt, anger, and frustration that I have been feeling for some time now. That would have been the bigger fail.

5. Learn how to use wordpress so that I can do things like add the ROW80 badge to my sidebar, or locate a blogsite that I understand how to use.

I am getting better with WordPress, and I honestly think that any blogsite will be constantly evolving thing. I am pleased with the things I have learned, and have determined that if I get seriously stuck, I will just yell for Laird. So far, I have heard a lot of pros and cons on everybodies site, so I am sticking with the devil I sort of know. This may change when I go for a domain name, but at the moment, that is a long way off.

I accomplished more than I thought I would in some areas, and less in others. I have learned a lot about what I can and cannot handle, and have a plan for next round. I would say I definitely came out ahead.

How did you do? Any wonderful surprises?

 

Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!! June 17, 2012

Filed under: ROW80 — charismaloy @ 12:06 pm

I mentioned not too overly long ago that the world was weighing heavily on me. This has had a serious effect on my writing. Mostly in that I have done none. You see, I firmly believe that if you have nothing good to say, you should keep your bottom lip firmly attached to your top lip. I may rant at the wrongs of the world, I may share my grief with you, but I will never belittle anyone or share dirty laundry. Unfortunately, that’s all I have had the energy to do for the last several weeks, this is why I have been absent from you for so long. Suffice it to say that, for the last year I have struggled under the weight of an immense burden that was never mine to carry. I have felt as though I were hogtied and dragged behind a team of runaway horses. For the last several weeks, I have been sawing at the ties that bound me to this burden and have finally freed myself. I may still have moments or days of silence as I lick my wounds and heal my badly bruised spirit, but the time of injury has passed and I can now, finally, begin to heal.

Fortunately for ROW80, writing has always been healing for me. I look forward to the next round and anticipate being much better rested and able to accomplish more. I have even lost track of how much longer we have in this round.

My life will be chaos for the next eight months or so, so I am going to set goals that I have some hope of accomplishing.

1. Write at least 1000 words per week on  WIPs

I worked on a short piece for my collection.

2. Start a Twitter account

Goal met: 4/4/2012

3. Learn how to use Twitter, Facebook and my blog to at reach at least 10 new followers.

No further progress here

4. Post at least one blog that is not a ROW80 check-in

nope

5. Learn how to use wordpress so that I can do things like add the ROW80 badge to my sidebar, or locate a blogsite that I understand how to use.

Other than updating the photos and links for the Prudence MacLeod’s new release Shelly’s Turn, and Meghan O’Brian’s upcoming The Night Off, I have not touched my blog page.

We are in the homeward stretch, and I accomplished more than I thought I would in some areas, and less in others.

How did you do? Any wonderful surprises?